Is There any Honesty in the Truth?
by The Slytherin Devoid
Summary: AU, in which Sirius is given a trial after his supposed betrayal of the Potters and Dumbledore shows up to ask Remus to give evidence, How does Remus deal with the offer of helping his so once called best friend receive the Dementor's kiss.


Is there any honesty in the truth?

The white washed walls that surrounded him left him feeling barren and empty. He stared at the emptiness intently almost as if he were able to see all the memories behind them if he just looked hard enough. The old wooden floor was cool beneath his naked feet; he traced the scuff marks absently with his big toe. It was all wrong; this shouldn't have happened he shouldn't be standing here right now. A heavy knock against the locked door ripped him from his reverie.

"Yes" he choked out, he almost didn't recognize his own voice it was too hoarse to raw to be natural.  
>"Remus, open the door it's Albus" The sound was muffled through the monstrous thing although he could tell Dumbledore's voice held a tone of ignorant sympathy. As much as he wanted to tell everyone to just fuck off, he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere with his old headmaster.<p>

Disparagingly he took his gaze off the wall in front of him and went to unlock the door. It only took him a few key jangling, lock turning moments to pull it open.

"Albus, what a _pleasant_surprise" Remus tone was low and uninviting Albus took the message for what Remus really meant but was too polite to say 'what the fuck do you want'

Remus didn't actually expect a reply as he left Albus standing in the doorway, rather finding comfort for himself sitting on top of the old rumbled bed in the room.

"Remus my boy this isn't healthy" Dumbledore admonished walking into the chamber his long starry robes billowing behind him.

The haunting laughter that preceded Albus' comment echoed against the white washed room, chilling him to the core.

"_Healthy, _you don't think this is healthy, well I can assure you _Albus_ it's a hell lot better than being _dead_ or even oh I don't know locked up in Azkaban_." _Remus practically growled at the older man.

This didn't seem to affect him however as he tried to approach Remus again.

"I understand-"he began his voice yet again portraying that ignorant sympathy yet he wasn't as ignorant to those feelings as Remus thought.

"- You don't understand _anything, _You think you know how I feel, you think you know what it's like to lose everything you've ever cared about in the space of twenty four hours, you think you know what it's like every time you catch a glimpse of your reflection to wonder if you actually deserve to live. Forgive me Albus but you know nothing."

Dumbledore stood there silently, taking in all of Remus' abusive confessions until the young man's voice had run dry.

"Feeling better now" Dumbledore asked, polishing his half-moon spectacles on his starry robes.

Remus remained stoic and moved to lie down on the bare bed, it creaked quietly as he shifted  
>"I'll never feel better" he murmured, Albus heard him despite his intentions.<p>

"Don't be so melodramatic Remus, we both know it's not like you" His cold comment bit through Remus like a rotting apple in the process of being desiccated by an earth worm.

"Yeah well, maybe I don't want to be _me _anymore" he angrily bit out despite how illogical he knew he was being. "Sirius isn't around now, maybe this is me making up for that" he turned his back on Albus as he flipped onto his side.

"Don't blame this on yourself Remus, nobody could see what Sirius would become" Albus tried to ease some of the man's guilt.

"Honestly Albus you all think this is because of some misplaced guilt, you think I'm blaming myself for what happened to James… to Lily"

"yes ...Yes I do Remus"  
>"Well then you can just go <em>fuck off<em>" He growled out the last two words, perhaps in an attempt to shock the headmaster into leaving, he knew it wouldn't really work but once again he had to try.

"Disrespect me all you like Remus, it won't change the past" Dumbledore admonished

Remus remembered all the times he was in school, how much he looked up to their headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Remus was sure nobody else would ever consider allowing a werewolf to enrol in the school and for that he was internally grateful, he owed a lot of this to Dumbledore. He owed his education and his entire life to the man, without him Remus would probably still be stuck at home trying to figure out a way to survive each month or he probably would have given up and joined Greyback's pack as it seemed the easier thing to do.

"My apologies headmaster, as you can understand I'm still a little tense"  
>"Think nothing of it my boy"<p>

" So are we going to get back to the reason you're actually here" Remus rose an eyebrow, whilst Albus looked a little put off.

"What makes you think I have an agenda?" Remus snorted

"Please Albus you can't expect me to believe that the head of an important war time organization such as the order of the phoenix will just drop in to see how I'm going, people die all the time it's nothing special, not to you anyway"

"very astute, well in fact I did have something I wanted to ask you"  
>"Spit it out then"<br>"I was hoping you would give evidence against Sirius Black at his trial"

Remus' eyes grew as dark as the night sky at the epitome of midnight.

His lip shot upwards into a snarl, revealing his unnaturally sharp canines.

"You want me to help you put Sirius behind bars" he asked bewildered  
>"no, actually Remus' they're striving for the dementor's kiss"<p>

An icy chill encompassed his body as he thought about his best friend, his mate having the very essence of his soul forcefully sucked out of him. The urge to throw up overwhelmed him, yet he managed to suppress it as he made a slight whimpering sound, Nothing of which Albus' commented on.

"I… I can't" he whispered

"Can't or won't Remus, you must remember this is not the same Sirius you thought you knew, this man sold out Lily and James to Voldemort, he is the lowest of scum and a crime like this deserves justice, this can't happen without your help Remus" Dumbledore pressed him.

"I don't think you realise what you're asking of me" Remus exasperated

"No I understand it all very clearly, I'm asking you to be responsible for gaining justice in the wake of your friends' deaths" Albus justified

" that's not all your asking of me" Remus stressed finally rolling off the bed to face his former headmaster  
>"you're.. you're basically asking me to condemn a man to a soulless unyielding life, he'd be better off dead and we both know it, despite what Sirius may have done nobody deserves that…<em>nobody<em>"  
>"not even if they murdered three of your friends" Albus commented<br>"why are you so desperate to save him" he continued  
>"why are you so desperate to make a guilty man out of him" their conversation had soon escalated into a yelling match, one which after the last comment climaxed in absolute silence.<p>

"You believe he's innocent don't you" Albus questioned him softly  
>Remus couldn't answer him.<p>

"You don't believe he killed Lily and James and Peter too, do you?" Albus strained

Remus took a couple of unbalanced steps back

"Who else could it be Remus"

Remus backed himself up against the white wash wall

"It wasn't him, he couldn't… he doesn't deserve the kiss" Remus was stumbling over the words that fell from his mouth.

"What do you believe Remus" Albus grinded him.  
>"I…I just don't know" something broke inside Remus as he slumped to the floor "I just don't know"<p>

Dumbledore appraised the young man desperately clinging to his knees on the wood.

"I see I made a mistake asking this of you Remus, I'll just see myself out then" he concluded, his eyes scraping over the lad before he turned on his heel and strode out the open door his starry robe billowing in his wake.

As soon as he crossed the threshold Remus broke into dry sobs.

The world was a place of indefinite injustice and dishonesty; he didn't know what to believe anymore. If Sirius could turn on James and Lily that meant anything could happen, hell he wouldn't believe he was still living on earth if he didn't look out the window every now and then and reassure himself he actually was. There was no way Sirius could have done something like this it just wasn't in his nature. Sirius was brave and sweet and kind and considerate, but was he really? How could Remus be sure that it wasn't just an act and Sirius was actually a cold, calculating, murdering bastard? Remus just didn't know what to believe anymore. Sobbing his eyes out until the tears couldn't run any longer sounded like a perfect plan but he knew as soon as they stopped he would still be left with the aching chasm in his heart and the dozens of unanswered questions in his head. Perhaps he was never meant to truly know. Maybe this was all it was ever meant to be. He'd wait to see what would become of Sirius but for now he was content as long as the tears continued to streak paths down his cheeks, and he was numb enough not to feel the unbelievable burn of betrayal encompass him, maybe someday he'd find out the truth. He just hopped when he did it wouldn't be too late.

Disclaimer: Just because I dream about HP, doesn't mean I own it unfortunately.

AN: This is really just a random one-shot that I wrote on a whim so please do forgive if Albus seems a little OC and even perhaps if my blatant abuse of commas disturbs you. I promised Remus I would post something today so here it is, I hope all of you enjoy and please do review XD

Love  
>Sam<p> 


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